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A perennial subject at the bar is whether you can get a DUI for riding your bicycle while intoxicated. The shortcut for our purposes here: It depends on your municipality. In some areas you can get a DUI and even forfeit your automobile driver’s license. In other areas, where more enlightened heads prevail, the drunk cyclist is considered a danger only to him or herself. Really, a drunk cyclist is one less drunk car driver, right?

Anyway, there’s nothing to compare with a $1400 ticket for riding your bike recklessly, as this poor gentleman did in Virginia.

For riding his bike too fast, Kajuan Cornish got an “abusive driver fee” of $350 each year for four years.